the kid is back

thats right after spending 3 weeks in a rat hole in bejing as a prisoner for some chinese pirates. i know there not as cool as samalian pirates but at least there food is better i think… i was treated to some non-rotten meat and it was great. i met a few americans who free’ed me they looked rather colonial in appearance what with there pith helmets and all. one rambling on and on about the statue of xian wa i think he had some sort of jungle fever… that or yellow fever HA anyway WELCOME BE BACK WORLD once the gang-green clears up its back to work for me.

thanks biggles and your adventurous friends!

Dear Dave… I mean Eddy

ED, Eddy, my man! The man of a thousand flops and the miss train keeps on rolling. This time he’s set to pay scary spice $50,000 a month in child support. Way to go Scary Spice for being the gold digger of the year! Looks like Haunted Mansion will be a trilogy!

too real, 50,000 for 9 month and 20 minutes work.

David Spade is back and talking smack

YES Hollywood favorite long haired black sheep is back and pissing off more people. No there is no just shoot me reunion planned thank god! Anyway apparently he’s no longer annoying the public by appearing on T.V. or in movies but by pissing off celebs bigger then him. So get this SIR Elton John is eat dinner at LA’s Tower Bar restaurant with some friends when in walks David Spade and Courteney Cox(what are they syndicated brat pack?no just brats.) David see’s Elton and his husband and blurts out “I hope he’s picking up my check, too!” awsome! everyone laughs except Elton. I wonder if David tried to put it on Elton’s tab? Because he’s got to have like no money left you know.

Chris Brown gives Rihanna a black eye!

yes! this is fucking gold, super star Chris Brown didn’t attend the Grammy awards on Sunday night because he apparently turned himself in after “beating up” Rihanna what a mutha’ fucker he’s a real jerk! so anyway he lost it on Rihanna and then turned himself in, what a winner! You think he’ll have trouble with the 50’000 he has to pay for bail?

say John say…

Jon Mayer wins for Best Male Pop artist at the Grammy awards, but hey where was Jennifer? I think she was getting ready for the after party with the other gals from sex in the city. SO you won john you know what that means, your spending the night with Anniston and that middle panic button on the light switch! you go kid
good luck!

THIS JUST IN ASIAN HATER MILEY CYRUS SINGS AT GRAMMYS

Thats right that asian hating little tween belts one out at the grammy awards tonight, and as she did I SWEAR TO GOD she was tempted to reach up to her eyes  and pull more of that juvinial racist bullshit she did in THIS PICTURE

RACIST in question pictured in center with intended victim(left of racist) shocked after being hit by out going force of racist gestures.

What a peice of crap! I hope face book ruins your life like it’s ruined so many already then YOU’LL be singing my Achy Breaky Career!

THIS JUST IN KANYE DOESNT WIN SONG OF THE YEAR AT THE GRAMMY’S

That’s right Kanye didn’t win for song of the year and you know he’s going to bitch about it. He’ll bitch about it like a little brat. How sad is it that he gets robbed at the grammys and now to stay in the spot light I’m going to predicted he will wine like a little baby. Thank you grammys for giving Kanye another three lines for his next album.

this is not the future kid.

Brad Pitt afraid of death, not the fith dymension

So after filming the curious case of bengemen button “the big star” Brad Pitt said that he was worried about death, that shooting the movie had made him think about the shortness of life. See he doesn’t care about getting old, he can’t wait for that shit to happen. I’m sure he’s can’t wait to get old, so all those kids he has to look after grow up and move out and start spending his money on high end blow and hookers like he never could when he was there age. Or maybe he just wants to stop paying the care takers and nannies all that money he has to, so he can keep them quiet and the kids can sort of learn about normal people. Maybe he doesn’t want to die because he can’t stand the idea of his kids fucking up his legacy because you know they will, if he makes it to 65 and his kids are in there late teens there will be a reality tv show about them and how much they love to fuck around in Hollywood maybe one or two of them will already be in celebirty rehab 12 or some shit like that. Look Brad you have the ball and the chain around your neck, just let death take you, when it comes relax and you’ll be free JUST dooo it!

Iron Mike Greed

uncle dad

Look at this fat fuck, what in gods name happend to this man? He used to be fucking iron he could knock a man out in the first fucking round, he beat the national anthem at his comeback fight, he bit a man ear off his fucking head! Well the only thing iron Mike is bitting into now is a hero sandwitch from the looks of it. What a piss off, this guy still wants to fight and he looks like he just finished the 1000 pidgeons that live on his roof with some fava beans and a nice keantie sause, jesus christ. Its enough to crush the spirit of the american dream, and after all the election coverage this fat tattoo’ed fuck makes his case that he wants to fight again. What the hell is he going to do? A bake off against butter bean? Will he go four rounds with the iron chef and loose the only thing this man is fighting is the urge to eat that last peacan sandee in the box fucking hell Mike what happend? People thought you were bad now you look like uncle buck with a bad tat, fuck.

i'm going to eat this man's children next

OJ SIMPSON AND JESSICA SIMPSON FINALLY HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON, THERE WAIST LINES.

Yes folks you heard it here from the beaks mouth, convicted(of trying to carry a tune) poptart Jessica Simpson has fallen off the wagon or fit into the gap how ever you like it. Jessica has put on a bit of tonnage over the past few months and is looking like the healthy heifer her should be ex-personal trainer must have been trying to prevent. DAMN how the mighty have fallen, she was at one time one of the cliché of pop princesses battling over air time on your favorite teenie-bopper radio station that was until the pop princesses turned slut. Jessica went left with Nick Lacey and tried acting, well not acting but more like living on that awful reality show she had that exposed her for the dumb white chick she really is. so after all that getting dumped being dumb Jessica learned how to walk and chew gum at the same time and tried to act. too bad for us she couldn’t act worth SHIT she couldn’t act stupid! So she went away as she should, she took the hint and bolted GREAT but now shes back and bigger then EVER! look at her!

Amazing! not only did she put on the pounds she sings country! Great just what the world needs a heavy set blond girl singing about how her husband left her, maybe she is saving up the fat to get some huge boob injections OR maybe shes a damned pot roast and someone cut her strings? we’ll either way she better learn to wash under the folds because like her career they are probably stinking!